12.06.2010

Euphorbia Yum Yums




Being in need of flowers and a project, I thought I'd try my hand at oversummering cyclamen tubers. Unfortunately, when I went out in search of a specimen/victim, none of the cyclamens I encountered really called out to me. I was looking for something small, simple, and pretty, and all I could find were giant fluffy freaks that were all bedazzled to hell. And yet, on my way out the door.... 


Euphorbia pulcherrima NOID, a.k.a. poinsettia

What?! Dude, I don't even like poinsettias. At least, I thought I didn't. But something about this particular coloration was just so goddamn festive. I looked at it, and suddenly I was tasting candycanes and hearing Bing Crosby music and feeling all warm-towards-humanity and stuff. It called to me. And as I was arguing with myself about dropping hard-earned kizzash on some disposable holiday bullshit, a counter-argument surfaced. It is possible... kind of... to oversummer poinsettias. And if there's one thing I enjoy, it's an irritating botanical project with little chance of success. So, I was sold.

Out the door I went, with a big stupid Christmasy smile on my face. And then suddenly...


Day-yumn! Look at that awesomeness. It's Euphorbia trigona 'Red,' my poinsettia's nasty cousin from down south. Euphoriba trigona can get pretty big, and the idea that I could eventually have a giant RED one in my apartment made me quite pleased. 


It does have this weird little blister on one of the stalks. I don't know what that is... I'm half expecting a small, phallic baby alien to burst out of there. More likely is it will rupture and just become scar, which would be no biggie. We'll see.


So that's all for now. Coming soon, I kill a bunch of plants, and brew some Kombucha. And possibly die from drinking homemade Kombucha. I guess if the posts stop altogether, you'll know why. Send someone over to water my plants.

Parting Gift: I try to base my plant-shopping etiquette on this clip. Robbed from the film "The Room," which was robbed of the Oscar for Best Picture.





6 comments:

  1. Huh. I think I must have been trying to comment on one of the earlier copies of this post. Oh well. You got the e-mail anyway, probably.

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  2. Why, Johnny? Why? Johnny, why? Why?

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  3. I have a pointsetta from last year that my parents gave me. I was to lazy to try to get it to create red flowers. So it's still green.

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  4. You are the funniest person alive. I love your posts and share your ambiguous feelings towards pointsettas. I have never been able to overwinter one of those. Good Luck!

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  5. At my previous job, we had a variety much like this (called 'Sonora White Glitter', though I can't say if yours is the same or if there are other speckled varieties) - it was always my favourite, too.

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  6. meemsnyc: yeah, I have a feeling that's where my poinsettia is headed, if I can keep it alive. Oh well, there's always next year to try for color.

    Ivynettle: That may be it! It could also be 'Shimmer Surprise' or 'Jingle Bells.' Whatever, it sure is purdy.

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