Okay, I give up. My mystery accomplice was Carly Fisher of the Chicago Brunch Blog. I was thrilled when she agreed to indulge me and come along for plant shopping, because most of the time she accuses me of having an "old lady hobby." But as it turns out, Carly herself was a member of the Orchid Club at our university, and so she was more than happy to accompany me on a trip to an orchid farm. I guess we have even more in common than our mutual love of brunch, booze, and boys.*
But what did I buy? LOOK BELOW! Is that not the most bad-ass leaf you have ever seen? I thought so. It's some type of Oncidium orchid, but exactly which I'm not sure. When I was checking out, I got distracted by the *CHA-CHING* sound of my money vaporizing out of existence, and I forgot to get a care-tag for it. In any case, an employee managed to find an older specimen in flower, and as I vaguely remember it was darling. I don't care; it's the leaves that make it wonderful.
What else? At a different store I managed to snap up a gorgeous Alocasia "Kapit." The leaves are thick, dark, and glossy like the Lacquer plant (Piper magnificum), but it keeps a prettier habit and sports a dazzling red glitter in the leaves. It's much brighter in person, but if you click the photo you can still see it plainly.
*And girls. And kittens, and Baraka, and world peace, and dirty, dirty Alexander Skarsgard.