Dear Cyperus (diffusus?) Number One:
Everyone told me that the only rule with you was constant moisture. So, the whole not-watering-to-death thing is totally my bad. To be fair, you could have given me more warning. I'm really sorry you had to die just to teach me something I already knew; your sacrifice paves the way for future plants, who theoretically will not succumb to the same mistakes. I'm sure you understand.
Dear Cyperus Number Two:
Don't worry, everything's going to be fine. Probably.