You No Can Has Dieffenbachia.

Dear Kitties;

Don't eat the dieffenbachia. Egon, I'm talking to you specifically; I saw you tasting that this morning. Don't eat the the euphorbias, particularly the pencil cactus. Don't eat the adenium obesum, or the ricinus. They will kill you super-dead. You guys don't realize, because you're dumb, but I do so listen. I buy you cat grass every week and store the poisonous plants on high shelves for a reason. You can keep eating the pothos if you like, even though I'm pretty sure pothos causes a burning sensation in the mouth. If that's what floats your boat, go for it. You can even keep eating my beautiful Yucca elephantipes; I won't be mad. But stay away from the Shelf of Doom, you goddamn idiot fatmonkeys.

Sincerely,
The Management.

P.S. Vera, I don't know how you managed to 1) get inside 2) get STUCK inside my 30 gallon terrarium, but you did, and you wrought havoc on my seedlings. Be assured that we will discuss this little incident in our February budget meeting. I'll be removing the damages as "shrinkage" from your toy allowance.