... but a fern ain't one. Yes, y'all... blechnum gibbum and I have broken up. Reasons are as follows:
1) The moping and wilting.
2) The drinking problem. I have many thirsty ferns, but usually with additional peat moss in the mix they do just fine. B. gibbum never adjusted.
3) The broken promises... every time a frond withered and died, another crosier quickly popped up as if to say, "I can change! Gimme another chance and I'll be the lush sexy plant you want me to be." Then the next week, it was back to looking like shit.
4) The giant red centipede that came flying at me when I last checked the root system. You can bet I shoe-assassined that thing for a full minute or so before my heart rate returned to normal.
January 09 - Looked like crap even then. I Pity the Fern!
I read lots of good advice from the blechnum veterans over at gardenweb... but in the end, I just lost patience. Since I try not to assassinate healthier plants, blechnum went to my Craigslist Guy. Craigslist Guy is a neighborhood fellow who provides asylum for unwanted plants, and he was happy to take "Blech" out of my murderous hands.
As for me, I'm doing fine, and already shopping for my next treefern love at Thimble Farms.
Oh man, have I had problems with blechnums! Blechnum spicant shrivelled up and died and B. nudum is headed the same way. B. novae-zelandiae is one of the ugliest ferns I have ever seen - no shape or form to its fronds - they come up wherever they feel like, and the only fun is when I forget to water it for a bit and it gets black stripes all down the fronds. B. penna-marina is a new acquisition but I predict it'll go crispy as I'm keeping it in a hanging basket at the moment. B. tabulare is the exception - truly the one that managed to leave its good-for-nothing siblings behind and make a life for itself as a damn fine tree-fern.
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